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Ashley Madison is a website for married people seeking affairs. Sex therapist Tammy Nelson is its resident relationship expert.
Nelson said many people wind up cheating on their partners because they lack passion in their marriage.
That’s why Nelson recommends having an “affair” with your spouse, meaning you put in the effort to add something forbidden or exciting into your romantic life.
However: You have to plan it.

Here’s the fantasy.

You come home to your partner, “sweep the dishes off the kitchen table, and say, ‘Oh my god, take me now.'”

But Tammy Nelson isn’t buying it. “Twenty years later, and with three kids and a dog, that’s not going to happen.”

Nelson is a sex and relationship therapist; after about 30 years in practice, she recently joined Ashley Madison, a website for married people seeing affairs, as an outside consultant.

The fact that the scenario described above is so unlikely to occur in a long-term relationship is what drives some people to stray, Nelson said.

“That’s the fantasy of an affair, that you’ll have that impulsive excitement.”

Nelson isn’t explicitly “for” or “against” cheating. In fact, she suspects that people will always have affairs.

But she did propose a workaround for anyone who feels like they can’t tolerate the lack of passion in their marriage, and need to look elsewhere for it.

Of that “impulsive excitement” she mentioned, Nelson said, “You can have that in your marriage — if you plan it.”

This is, admittedly, not a very sexy idea. But according to Nelson, it works.

“What bores people in their sex life is that it’s all acceptable. Like, this is great sex, but it’s all vanilla sex. It’s all fine and good and acceptable and we’re not doing anything naughty.”

The solution? “You have to have an affair with your spouse. You have to make something about your marital …read more

Source:: Business Insider

      

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